A conversation with Judy:

 

 

ring ring ring…

 

 

“Hello?”

“Hi Amanda!”

“Hi Mom. What’s up?”

“Oh, not too much. Say, I had a brain fart today, and realized that you don’t have any brown shoes. I’d like to get you a pair.”

“Oh, that’s nice Mom. Although you know that that’s not exactly the definition of a brain fart?”

“Oh right. Well maybe I sharted then.”

 

I admit, it’s kinda creepy that she knew I didn’t own a pair of brown shoes. The time spent thinking about that surely could’ve gone towards something more productive. And, in true form, she did go on to buy me like 4 pair of brown shoes- all of which were used – one of which wasn’t even my size – none of which I’m probably ever going to wear. If you can get past all that though, based on this conversation alone, you can see that my mom is pretty much the shit. Or the shart. Depending on who you’re talking to.